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*./hear me speak.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

38 Ways to annoy people.

1. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

4. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

5. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

6. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

7. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

8. Sniffle incessantly.

9. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles

10. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

11. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

12. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

13. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

14. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

15. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

16. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

17. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

18. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

19. Set alarms for random times.

20. Honk and wave to strangers.

21. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

22. Wear your pants backwards. 50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

23. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

24. Only type in lowercase.

25. Don't use any punctuation either

26. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

27. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

28. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

29. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

30. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

31. Ask people what gender they are.

32. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

33. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

34. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

35. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

36. Never make eye contact.

37. Never break eye contact.

38. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

--------------------------------

Will be working at Citibank next week onwards. Wun be having much time to blog. Yeah !!!

adventure: the pursuit of life.
water. beach. sea. sentosa. kayaking. dragon-boat. handball.

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