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*./hear me speak.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

What makes Singaporeans special.

Just what is a Singaporean?
How can a Singaporean be defined?

WE HAVE TO BE NUMBER 1
It's almost a prerequisite for us to be tops in everything.


WE ARE BIG HEARTED
We don't think twice when donating fat cheques to disaster victims abroad. But it's a different story with Flag Days at home.


WE FEEL FOR OTHER SINGAPOREANS
We may not know each other; but when disaster strikes our fellow men, we share their anguish.


WE HAVE GREAT FORESIGHT
The authority says, "Plan early for retirement." We always plan ahead.


WE LOVE FOOD
Brought about by the vast variety of grub in our multi-cultural melting pot.


WE ARE LAW-ABIDING
Well, most of us are, anyway. Those wayward few face a certain punishment which is also unique to us.

adventure: the pursuit of life.
water. beach. sea. sentosa. kayaking. dragon-boat. handball.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Rejected.

Received a letter from NTU that I was rejected for my application despite my good academic results and cca. ARH ! They told me that the number of applicants applied this year was record breaking and the limited places they have for us (polytechnic students) hence I was rejected.
I am so sad. :(




A little old but still very funny clip from The Daily Show on bloggers, broadcast in Feb last year.

adventure: the pursuit of life.
water. beach. sea. sentosa. kayaking. dragon-boat. handball.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Is Windows a virus?

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1. They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh. Windows does that, too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

It's a bug.

-----------

Clever Teacher.

A secondary school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever."

A smart ass guy in the back of the classroom raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Wah.

adventure: the pursuit of life.
water. beach. sea. sentosa. kayaking. dragon-boat. handball.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

21.

1. 21 people smsed to sent their birthday wishes to me. Nah. I lied to you. Not more than 21 but more than 15.

2. 21 candles are on my birthday cakes.

3. Today is my 21st working day at Citibank.

4. I take bus 21 back and fourth from my house to my working place. Bluff you. Haha :)

5. My security pass number begins with 21. Haha. As if.

6. I live on the 21st floor.

7. My favourite player in EPL wears jearsey no. 21.

8. My unit number starts with 21.

9. The bus I took this morning to work starts with 21.

10. The numbers of staff in the department I am working in has 21 staff. I also dun know la.

11. 21 is a prime number.

12. 21 is 10101 in binary. If you study computer maths.

13. I have killed 21 players so far in BF2.

14. My former seconday school index number was 21.

15. The first birthday message was sent to me at 21.21 a.m. yesterday morning.

-----------

21 looks so weird to me.

adventure: the pursuit of life.
water. beach. sea. sentosa. kayaking. dragon-boat. handball.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Drivers.

Taxi driver to work until 70; they are......called Senior Driver. For those drive until 80, they will be called Mentor Driver. If they drive until 90 and still don't kaput, they will be called Mental Driver.

-----------

Good and Bad News.

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"

Patient: "Well, give me the bad news first."

Doctor: "You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left."

Patient: "Oh no! That's awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this??"

Doctor: "You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you."

adventure: the pursuit of life.
water. beach. sea. sentosa. kayaking. dragon-boat. handball.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

wtf show by mr brown. - switch fit mr miyagi




adventure: the pursuit of life.
water. beach. sea. sentosa. kayaking. dragon-boat. handball.

Monday, April 10, 2006

wtf show by mr brown. - switch fit mr brown




adventure: the pursuit of life.
water. beach. sea. sentosa. kayaking. dragon-boat. handball.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

true or false.

If some wicks are slicks, and some slicks are snicks, then some wicks are definately snicks. The statement is:

1. True
2. False
3. Neither
4. How the f*** I know

-----------
Assume that these two statements are true. All brown-haired men have bad temper. Larry is a brown-haired man. The statement that Larry has a bad temper is:

1. True
2. False
3. Neither
4. Unable to determine

-----------
If all zips are zodies, and all zodies are zonkers, then all zips are definately zonkers. This sentence is logical.

1. True
2. False
3. Neither
4. Who cares

-----------
Sue is both 50th best and the 50th worst student in her school. How many students attend her school?

1. 50
2. 75
3. 99
4. 101

-----------
The European Space Agency received three messages in a strange language from a distant planet. The scientists studied the messages and found that "Necor Buldon Slock" means "Danger Rocket Explosion" and "Edwan Mynor Necor" means "Danger Spaceship Fire" and "Buldon Gimilzor Gondor" means "Bad Gas Explosion". What does "Slock" mean?

1. Danger
2. Explosion
3. Rocket
4. Gas
5. Nothing

-----------
Received a letter that I passed my EPT that I took last month. Yeah! One step closer to NIE. :)

adventure: the pursuit of life.
water. beach. sea. sentosa. kayaking. dragon-boat. handball.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

marriage lessons.

On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Dick was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

"Tell us Dick, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"

Dick responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness --and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."

-----------------

bookworm.

"For Heaven's sake, Chris, why can't you talk to me once in a while?" Julie whined.

"What?" Chris replied.

"Look around!" Julie yelled, as she pointed around the room. "Look at all these books! You always have your head buried in a book! You don't even seem to know I'm alive!"

"I'm sorry, honey," Chris said. "Sometimes I wish I were a book. Maybe then you'd at least look at me!" Julie exclaimed.

"Hmmmm," Chris mumbled, "that's not such a bad idea. Then I could take you to the library every few days and change you for something more interesting."

adventure: the pursuit of life.
water. beach. sea. sentosa. kayaking. dragon-boat. handball.

tags.
hear me speak.
links. / archives. / song lyrics.
the tall one.
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